Connection Brings Hope, Part Three: Getting The Help That I Needed

A six-part blog on my journey through life with a mental illness and how my peers,
plus mental health professionals, gave me a new outlook on life.

By Dionna Riccio

Throughout my growing up and my struggles sediments, there were times that I did indeed get help along the way through the friends that I had in middle school who I trusted about my feelings and cared for in a way that I’ll never forget. Without them and their willingness to be brave and to tell someone else who could steer me in the right direction for getting help, I needed to engage to save my life. It’s what saved me in my youth of battling the depths of depression and suicidality.

In the thick of this journey, I would not be here without the people who loved and cared for me, encouraging and sometimes forcing me to get help when I was young and terrified to get it. I spent most of my youth attempting to get the help that I needed yet I was so scared about being hospitalized again, that I never told the truth about what I was honestly feeling. 

Being in and out of hospitals for psychiatric care, I was considered one of the lucky ones. I went from doctors to therapists to social workers, etc, and still not trusting anyone to fully admit what I was experiencing. This changed the Spring of 2021 when I finally admitted to my Nurse Practitioner that what I was experiencing wasn’t just basic depression.

Flash forward to now, she changed my life. Therapy, having someone who you trust, being honest about what is happening in your life, the right medication and in-patient psychiatric care in crisis saved my life. 

I had experienced depression in my youth, and I didn’t get my full diagnosis until I was roughly twenty-two. When things progressed into delusions, I knew that there was more to the story. I felt hopeless once again. When I finally had the courage to be honest with my APRN, they thought I may be experiencing symptoms of Bipolar I Disorder. It wasn’t until the end of that year December 2021, when I was officially diagnosed after yet another suicide attempt and hospitalization.

Proper diagnosis and medications helped me make sense of what I was feeling and experiencing without thinking I was insane. This can help people realize that there is hope out there with getting the proper help with effective treatments for the disorders that they may face.  Although this didn’t take away the symptoms of my illness, it did lessen the intensity of the dark thoughts and wanting to go through with suicidal ideations - I was able to finally function.

Being connected to the right people and mental health professionals to remind me that this isn’t really who I am and that I have an illness is the reason why I was able to keep going on. Those who have supported me throughout my journey and took the proper care to get me the help that I needed, gave me hope to maintain proper health and self-care to keep me safe and function efficiently in life.