Connection Brings Hope, Part One: Growing Up

A six-part blog on my journey through life with a mental illness and how my peers,
plus mental health professionals, gave me a new outlook on life.

By Dionna Riccio

Growing up was nothing shy of a storm. I was born prematurely on Christmas Eve, and have a heart - condition. Thus, growing up it always took me a little longer to do things, and was always behind and slow... I remember never being much of a confident girl at a young age. I was a shy girl, wanting to do nothing but fit in with a friend or two, yet I never really did, and when I did eventually, I still felt alone. I liked baseball, and swimming, I played sports and was fortunate enough to get everything that I needed growing up. I was sensitive, always took everything to heart. I read everything as if it was my attack on myself and when people didn’t want to hang out with me, it was because I wasn’t enough.

I had a normal life growing up and I am thankful that I did. But sometimes things happen and no one truly knows how bad things are until years later. I grew up in a household where my father suffered from a substance use disorder and began to become emotionally abusive in the household. I looked up to my father when I was a young girl, but as time went on I began to hate him. I did not know he was suffering from an illness. He suffered from cancer and died when I was just short of twelve years old. 

Unfortunately, this is where my journey with mental illness began. I never said my final goodbyes to my father, due to his own emotionally abusive behaviors and how he acted. If only I knew back then that he was suffering and struggling with his substance abuse disorder and terminal illness and it wasn’t a reflection of him on me. 

Growing up, I met some of the kindest, most caring people I could ever encounter that helped me during my darkest times. Growing up wasn’t all that bad. There were good times and then there were bad, but I’m happy to know that life always comes in waves of both.